“The Paris Crew” Ridiculed and Mocked

A title appears on screen: Ridiculed and Mocked

A live performer sits on a wooden trunk that sits on a wooden stage, that is made to resemble a dock, against a brick background – which is the façade of the New Brunswick Sports Hall of Fame. On the backdrop is an image of a green rowing scull. On the hull of the scull is written its name, the James A. Harding. The character of Elijah Ross is dressed in period costume from 1967; brown woolen trousers, white linen shirt, brown leather suspenders and “The Paris Crew” signature rowing cap. In his had is a metal drinking cup. A man with a can walks on stage, wearing formal attire and a white sun hat. The man has a very condescending look on his face, and that look is carried through the remainder of the scene. The man motions to Ross who is sitting there holding his cup.

Cyril: Has your organ grinder gone missing, then?

Elijah: Beg your pardon?

Cyril: Oh, nothing. May I make your acquaintance? I’m a supporter of the Oxford crew.

Elijah: Elijah Ross. Saint John Crew.

Ross raises his right hand and motions to shake Cyril’s hand. Cyril rudely refuses and steps backward.

Cyril: No need for that. So, your crew is from Canada, is it?

Elijah: No, New Brunswick. Well, we might be from Canada, now. I haven’t seen the results of last week’s election.

Cyril: What in blazes are you talking about?

Elijah: Oh, never mind.

Cyril: So, I believe I saw you and your chums from—wherever… out on the Seine this morning doing a practice run.

Elijah: Yeah, that was us!

Cyril: I noticed your rowing technique is somewhat…um…unorthodox. Your arms were jerking back and forth in a frantic manner—you looked quite like a quartet of pink chickens flapping across the water.

Cyril begins to mock their technique by hopping around and mimicking a chicken flapping its wings.

Elijah: [Still smiling.] Well, that technique seems to work for us. We’ve won plenty of races back home.

Cyril: Ah, I am sure you’ve, ah, won races  “back home”. And are you going to tell me that you won those races in that craft?

Cyril looks over his shoulder and uses his can to motion to the green scull in the background.

Elijah: Yep. That’s the James A. Harding. She’s a beaut.

Cyril: A beaut, you say. She seams a bit beamy.

Elijah: Maybe so. I noticed your Oxford boats are a little narrower. To each his own…

Cyril: And the method of construction is rather peculiar. I’ve never seen anything like it on this side of the pond. It’s like some sort of a curious Chinese puzzle painted green.

Elijah: She was built for us by Mr. Coyle. He’s a grand boat builder.

Cyril: And I suppose your “Mr. Coyle” is from “back home”, is he?

Elijah: Aye. He is.

Cyril: She looks rather heavy. How much does she weigh, do you suppose?

Elijah: Two-hundred pounds.

Cyril: Two- hundred pounds! Good Lord, she’s a bloody barge!

Cyril: Well, I suppose we’ll be seeing you at the race tomorrow then and we’ll be seeing you at the start, and perhaps at the end.

Cyril steps closer to Ross and looks down upon him, who is still sitting on the trunk, as if to intimidate him.

Cyril: Oh, but of course, I’m sure you will reach the finish line eventually.

Ross gets on his feet and steps toward to Cyril, to show that is not intimidated.

Elijah: I guess we’ll just have to wait until tomorrow and see, won’t we.

The scene fades and the logo for the New Brunswick Sports Hall of Fame appears on the screen.